Recently I had a stellar wife moment. Before I get into the details of my bitch-fit, I should clarify that I love my husband, and I believe we have a healthy and mostly happy marriage… but there are days I prefer daydreaming of “Hollywood-Chris” (pick one: Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, yada yada yada), the man in my mind that does and says all the right things at the perfectly scripted moment… *cue swoon* Anywhoo… back to my mini-meltdown.
I had come home from work one day a couple weeks ago to find a pair of pruning sheers on my kitchen counter. Now I know what your thinking… “This woman is unstable”. While the verdict is still out on that one, I promise, I’m not usually. These particular pruning sheers were becoming the bane of my existence. They had been left on the counter for more than a week. My husband said he wanted to take them out to the garage, yet here they sat. Now the unique part of this circumstance is that my husband has recently began working from home full time, a luxury I wish I had. After a seemingly frustrating day at work, I come home to find these damn pruning sheers on the counter AGAIN.
A number of other small-odd jobs were also not done, and after a long day at the office, my patience had hit bottom. I started out in brooding, silent-mommy mode… and violently began dealing with all the things that I felt should’ve been done. And then my husband makes an unfortunate error in judgement and asks me “What’s wrong”? At this point, I snap, full-blown Mayor of BitchCity… I look him in the eye and say “What the hell did you do all day? Why isn’t any of this shit getting done? You can’t tell me you sit at the computer for 8 hours and don’t move, it’s not possible.” Congratulations… I’m immediately awarded worst-wife of the year at this moment. Needless to say, my husbands response was instantly defensive (wonder why??), but completely logical. He takes the kids to daycare, picks them up earlier than required, makes dinner… and on and on. Yep, mother-pucker I can’t argue with his logic (to be fair, I rarely can). His day is likely consumed mostly by picking up, dropping off, cooking, parenting and working.
Here is where I do an instant-replay reality check on myself. Drumroll please… I realize my frustration isn’t that he isn’t working hard or contributing enough. It’s just that its not being done how “I WOULD DO IT”. BOOM, Type-A female… CHECK. Obviously, I immediately apologize (OK, begged for forgiveness… I was a complete a-hole). There are a number (million) of things I would love my husband to do MY WAY. I would love it if he could multi-task the way I do. I’m a career-administrator… I’m literally a professional multi-tasker. Oiy! Bottom line to all of this… I go out to the garage every single morning, so why didn’t I take the damn pruning sheers out myself? Yep, just an a-hole.
This whole situation reminded me that my husband and I have very different priorities in our day to day and how we get things done (namely, my way is better. HA!). But I’m blessed in that I have a loving husband who contributes in a multitude of ways to our family. And quite frankly, I know I couldn’t do it without him. Our life is crazy and chaotic at times but it works because we have each other to lean on. This doesn’t mean that our relationship is perfect… it means we try hard EVERYDAY to make it work. Some days we succeed, some days we fail. This is a perfect example of how I failed. But we move forward, as always. He is aware there are certain things I like to see done when I get home (like the garbage being taken out)… and I have become a lot more understanding that if I want it done my way and on my timetable… I need to stop bitching and do it myself.