For anyone who hasn’t heard the term… A “Rainbow Baby” is a child born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss.
My son; Connor, is my Rainbow Baby. I would suggest many who know me are not aware of this. While I don’t shy away from the conversation surrounding miscarriage, I also don’t talk about my experience in any depth.
I don’t believe I’ve been sheltered from injustices in life. I grew up in poverty, I was bullied, I suffered emotional trauma at a young age, I’ve worked my a$$ off for everything I have, and tried damn hard not to complain along the way. The thing is I don’t believe that life (or anyone in my life) owes me anything. We all have issues, problems and scars. While one might think my life is “amazing” another might think it “unbearable”. It’s a matter of perception. You see, my scars are mine and I view them through the experiences that shape who I am. While your scars, are yours. I don’t believe it possible to view another’s pain through their eyes, or walk in their shoes if you’d rather.
On Sunday, with the millions of other people who were tuned into the Superbowl, I anxiously awaited the only part of the game I ever care to watch… the Half Time Show. I would not consider myself a Lady Gaga fan but she is an amazing performer to say the least and I was excited to see the show she would put on. Needless to say, I think most can agree… she did NOT disappoint. As I watched her perform, I was blown away with the amount of energy she has and the talent that she possesses. Like seriously… if I had a fraction of the talent of that woman. Whew!
I was also beside myself to see that Miss. Gaga herself has a REAL body. One that I can relate to. In that moment, I was elated to see this amazingly talented woman be herself and not feel the need to tape, contour or whatever, to make her midsection appear flatter. Halleluiah! There are successfully popular women who are brave enough to portray realistic and positive body image.
Much to my dismay (but somehow not surprisingly), the Twitter world erupted with criticism. Comments like “drop a few pounds”, “fire your trainer”, and “beer belly”, were tossed around. This wildly talented, beautiful woman, who put on the performance of a lifetime is being criticized for looking healthy (not overweight, not obese, not fat). But according to some “her belly was too distracting”. Are you bloody kidding me? After seeing the social media backlash, needless to say I was frustrated. In any case, I went to bed and temporarily forgot about it. Bright and early Monday morning, I was once again bombarded by the negativity on social media surrounding this unbelievable performer.
I’m a grown woman yet I felt like a child on the playground watching another be bullied. But, I will NOT be silent anymore. I will NOT sit in silence and witness this atrocity. I will NOT contribute to the negativity any longer, because witnessing in silence is damaging too. Let us lend a hand up to each other, praise each others victories and learn from others failures. For everyone out there scrolling through comments on social media and casually ignoring the negativity (like me), choose understanding and offer words of kindness. Believe there is good in people and do not be silenced by the hatred.
A few weeks ago, while looking for a notebook for my husband at a downtown bookstore, a very kind woman commented on the necklace I was wearing. Funny, how something so simple has become so abnormal. In any case, she was very nice and asked where I had gotten it. I mentioned it was a Lia Sophia/Stella & Dot something or other I had purchased almost 5 years ago. We laughed and it got to that odd “uncomfortable” moment of do we continue to make chit-chat or not? She then made a bold comment that struck me (as it does every time I hear it)… She said “Congratulations, when are you due?” Continue reading