Life is not fair

I don’t believe I’ve been sheltered from injustices in life. I grew up in poverty, I was bullied, I suffered emotional trauma at a young age, I’ve worked my a$$ off for everything I have, and tried damn hard not to complain along the way. The thing is I don’t believe that life (or anyone in my life) owes me anything. We all have issues, problems and scars. While one might think my life is “amazing” another might think it “unbearable”. It’s a matter of perception. You see, my scars are mine and I view them through the experiences that shape who I am. While your scars, are yours. I don’t believe it possible to view another’s pain through their eyes, or walk in their shoes if you’d rather.

All of our experiences throughout our lifetime make us unique. To believe that any one person has experienced the exact same thing at the same time AND interpreted them identically is naïve and irresponsible. The question is… how do you undo “comparative” programming? Every time I turn on the television, open a magazine or see a “mis”representation of something on Facebook, I immediately think… wow that person has it so much better, easier, etc. I must consciously remind myself I only see what I want to see and I’m only shown what and how others want me to see. That in itself is unfair.

There is no absolute power that says my problems are worse or my circumstance is better than anyone else’s. Empathy is the key to undoing the belief that life is somehow fair/unfair. Let us stop trying to see the world through each others viewpoint, stop pointing blame at each other. We are all imperfect, we all wear masks. Without intention we undoubtedly hurt those around us from time to time. The next time you are hurt by the words or actions of those people you love and trust… remember, they are seeing the same situation through different eyes and experiences that led them to that moment. If you can do nothing else offer understanding. Process your pain and express your feelings. But I beg you to remind yourself that you may not be the only person hurting.




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